So I couldn't sleep last night because I couldn't manage to get my brain to turn off...shocker I know considering I am go go go all the time. But since it has been 10 years since I have graduated high school, my reunion has came and went, I have been thinking of all the things that I have accomplished and what I had hoped to accomplish because when I was 18 I thought I had all the time in the world. Now no one has to feel compelled to read this or even comment on it, but I felt like I would feel better if I wrote it!
Accomplishments that I am proud of:
Married the love of my life, we have been together for 11 years and married almost 6 years, most of which have been the happiest years of my life, I just wish parenthood and marriage came with a guide book....lol.
Speaking of Parenthood, I had three unsuccessful pregnancies, and one pregnancy that resulted in the most beautfil little girl in the world, Kayla is the best thing that I have ever done in my life, I hope that we can have at least one more! (soon I hope)
Had a successful, rewarding, and extremely challenging career in the United States Marine Corps as a Military Police Officer, I miss it more and more everyday, but my family and marriage were the most important thing, so alas I am a civlian.
I have managed to go to college on and off and only have 6 classes left....almost done!
We have purchased our first home and made it ours! No more painting just new carpet, countertops in the kitchen and new windows and we are done!
I work for a company that appreciates me and rewards me for all of my hard work, which is what we all want in our jobs!
I have re-established a relationship with both of parents, I still have good days and bad days with them, but that is to be expected!
Regrets that I have so far:
Not staying at Barry University and finishing college with all of my friends and being able to have that piece of paper that I have been working toward for 10 years!
The three miscarriages that I have had, I have always told myself it was God's way of telling me that there wasn't something right with the situation to bring a baby into the world or something wrong with the baby, but it still doesn't make it any easier to deal with!
Getting out of the Marine Corps and not fighting longer and harder than the two years that I did to get them to fix my right knee and pay for the surgeries needed to fix it.....no cartlidge left it sucks!
Not staying in touch with my friends and family as well as I should , life does happen and we seem to go in different directions, I should try harder to be involved in their lives.
Realizing that I am not Super Mom,Super Wife, and Super Friend/Family Memeber, but that I exhaust myself trying to be all three!
That I am so stubborn and strong willed that I never ask for help when I really need it!-I am working on that though....I think most women are like this though, it seems to get worse when you become a parent!
I suppose that is all for now.....I just had to get that off my chest now maybe I can actually take a nap later and sleep comfortably instead of tossing and turning all the time! Love you all for reading this post!
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1 comment:
Accomplishments:
I could probably think of a few more, but whats more important is to remember how hard you have worked for each of these.
Regrets:
I can only imagine how a miscarriage feels, and I know as much as that it would suck. You can't include those as regrets because it was out of your hands. Regardless of something "wrong" or not, it doesn't make the situation any easier. Its still a process and ok to grieve. It is a loss.
Even though we don't talk as much as we should or even want to... I love that when we do, even if its via email or blog or whatever, its still us talking... as if over cannoli juice or beer or something equally as valuable during that time of our lives :)
You are Super Mom/Wife/Friend/Employer/daughter, etc... part of whats super is knowing that it doesn't mean PERFECT. Maybe you are just more super at one one day and the other the next.
You have family, friends, etc who love and appreciate you for exactly who you are, where you came from and where you are going. And who plan on staying with you along the way, good and bad.
(And keep in mind that many, a big many, of the friends you started with at Barry did not finish up there either. So you are not alone...)
And when you get that diploma, you better give a big HELL YEAH!
And as I read your blog and type this response, I can't help but sing Frank Sinatra's My Way. I LOVE THAT SONG.
And so, I will leave my comment (which is nearly as long as your post) with a few great lines from teh song that I think are fitting for you (me, too, he he):
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way.
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